Didn't I just see you yesterday?

When I am with my closest friends, it is as if no time has passed and we pick up right where we left off. It's like you saw a matinee movie on a Tuesday afternoon and now it is Wednesday morning, and you're chatting over coffee about your date with your latest beau the night before.

So let's pretend that my post 361 days ago was Saturday night when I was dressed up in heels ready to hit the town, and now it's Sunday morning and my mascara has dripped to my cheeks and my hair resembles Medusa's.

Hey blog, can I get an extra shot of espresso in that latte?

Man, my work week in the ER was so exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I really like my job, I strive to learn something new every shift, but I just found the first hole in my Dansko clogs! I stretch my brain and my feet for 12 hours every shift; and I mourn the decline of my leopard print patent leather footwear.

Yeah, I've been studying for the Miller Analogies Test in preparation to apply to graduate school. Standardized tests have never been my forte, so I'm a bit nervous. Want to be my study buddy? You always encourage me to think outside the box, even when it's conveyed in size 12 font, in the style of Georgia.

Isn't this winter weather so strange? It's nearly February and my body is finally sore from bombing down the ski hill! It's nearly February and I finally get to scope out the men who are bombing down the ski hill next to me! No, none of them have caught my eye yet; they're all 5'8" and don't have jobs.

I'm totally digging my own new apartment in downtown Boise. It has me written all over it: bright colors, sparkles and funk. And when I want to watch Pride and Prejudice over and over, I can. And I do. "Oh, dear, I cannot tease you about that. What a shame; for I dearly love to laugh," is still a personal mantra.

Beach Body Spring Break 2012 is in full swing. Sort of. West Valley Medical Center's white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies might be my downfall. I'm hoping dreams of the sandy beaches of Cancun will be more persuasive than the seduction of butter and sugar on my tongue.

Before I've gotta go, dear blog, I want you to know that I'm a happy girl. New black satin Victoria's Secret pajamas, Sean Minor wine, receiving flowers from a patient's family, lazy movie nights with my family, a ring made out of a seashell, starting IV's with the ultrasound machine, passionate and intimate kisses, Anthropologie scented candles, and pounding the pavement in Nike running shoes to new tunes... are just a few reasons why I am a happy girl.

I'll see you tomorrow.. ;)

Early Twenties Renovation

For posterity sake, I guess I need to update my blog about where I've been, what I've been doing, for the past 6 months. Since the cyberspace inanimate object cares so much... I will start from the beginning.

An old friend, who looms around and can sneak up on you and scare you, or who can gradually work its way back into your life and offer some excitement, made its presence known in May 2010. This old friend's name is Change.

Change, meet Meredith.

Meredith, meet Change.

"Oh I know you...," said Change, "remember me?"

Of course I do.

I, reluctantly at first, welcomed Change back into my life.

What Change meant for me was a position in the Emergency Department. A position for which I have always longed.

But this position wasn't in Salt Lake.

This position was in Idaho.

Okay, Change, I accept.

And accept I did! In a matter of days, I packed up my little life in Salt Lake and moved 5 hours northward to a little place I call Home.

Change and Home have kindly offered me a chance to fall in love with the ER and (most) everything about it. From intubating patients who have overdosed on any drug known to man, to cute old men who come in with chest pain, to exposed bones from deep lacerations, to tying people down to beds because they won't cooperate (and are high on any drug known to man), to little kiddos with appendix's that are about to burst.... I have learned so much.

I didn't know I could learn so much!

I have found that ER nurses are jack of all trades, but master of none. Except for IV's.

I place about 5-10 IV's a shift. Vein acupuncture is my new black.

I still can't cook, or sew, or paint my nails... but damn, I can give you an IV....

And I can put really good things through that IV. Like Ativan, or Versed, or Morphine, Or Propofol.

If you are not familiar with such goodies, google it. You'll see why they're goodies.

The ER physically and mentally drains me; but, no matter how exhausted I may be at the end of a 12-hour shift, it really does hurt so good.

The best thing Change has given me is the chance to be closer to family. I get the opportunity to see Tanner and Abby grow up right in front of my eyes!

Have I told you in awhile that Abby is only one inch shorter than me? And that she is wearing my old clothes from high school? Do I need to remind you that she is a mere twelve years old?

Have I told you that Tanner is 5 inches taller than me? And that he broke his collarbone during football season, but still received a scholarship offer from Boise State? Do I need to remind you that he is an aged seventeen year old?

I am constantly on the road of Change. I will be applying to graduate school in the fall, with 14 schools in mind scattered about the country. I am single. I do not have any children. Looks like Change and I will be remaining close for awhile.

However, there are a few things that my friend Change has not, and will not, alter.

I am still 5'10". Still a brunette. Still love to run. Still love to ski. Still love Diet Coke. And I still turn one year older every June 25th.

And I still sleep with my baby blanket.

Mortal Vitality

I am well aware I have stepped away from my blog for over half a year.

I allowed life to continue, and I unintentionally allowed myself to not chronicle it.

I certainly have been enjoying life these past months; and though I have had more time on my hands because I blog less, I have found I have enjoyed life less because I have not blogged more.

When I take the time to pause, reflect, and write, on ideas and events that I find passionate, those ideas and events become something even greater.

Though I have been encouraged by the few blog fans that I may have to start writing again, what spurs me to write today is an event where, within its borders, I found passion and was significantly moved.

I was motivated to write because of the deaths of two young people, who departed this world too soon. One person whom I knew, and the other I did not.

A childhood friend passed away in her sleep, and she returned home to Boise, to be celebrated and mourned by her family and friends. I was fortunate enough to attend her funeral, and feel of the passion people felt for her. And I was much more emotional that I had anticipated. She was beautiful, kind, quirky, artistic, never judged another, and saw the technicolor side to life.

By remembering Aubri, I was reminded that I need to be more like her. I need to learn how to be slow to anger; to have more patience; and to exhibit more kindness to others. I want to touch others, as Aubri did in her short time here.

It was a beautiful memorial service honoring Aubri and I felt so fortunate to be able to share it with my parents. And it was a beautiful car ride home with my mother, as I cried, and so did she.

It was later that same evening, when my thoughts all day had been turned to Aubri, and death, and living with passion while we can, I learned of the second death. A boyfriend of an old soccer teammate was killed in a motorcycle crash in Honduras. He had been traveling the world, living a life long dream.

My heart ached, more than it already had, for my friend and her loss. I was privately overcome with thoughts of losing such talented individuals from this earth and not knowing when others, those who are closer to me, may have the same fate.

I laid in my bed silent, alone, until the early hours of morning thinking, pondering, wiping away tears, inquiring, about how fragile life is, and always will be.

Though I was tempted, I never did ask the question, "Why?"

"Why so young? For what purpose?" For we will never know why, and I have never been one to drown myself in something that cannot be solved.

The question I did find myself asking was, "How?"

"How can I live more like them? How can I find, search, and live the passions that mean most to me?" For this question has an answer.

I started with hugging my mother a little bit tighter and longer. I played with my little sister's hair and scratched her back. I told friends that I loved them. I offered more smiles to patients who walked through the Emergency Room doors.

Though death is painful, tragic, scary, and sometimes seemingly unbearable; I found that Thursday, January 20th, as I learned of death, was filled with passionate moments and emotions that I will never forget.

And now that I have chronicled those moments, they are even greater.

Thank you Aubri Chance and Matty Lee; for you have touched others, and me, in more ways than you thought possible.

Patience is a Virtue...

...as defined by Benjamin Franklin.

He also routinely practiced what he preached. How else did the lightbulb come to be?

Welp, this virtue is on my list, too

My one-day-someday list.

Right now, as I recover from ACL surgery, patience is not my best attribute.

To read how I am trying.... go here.

Warrior Status

So I had that date with the doctor. Wanna know how it went?

Read here.

With love from the girl with new battle wounds...

Take Action

It is Emergency Medical Services (EMS) week.

Read my article, "CPR Certification for Every Capable Citizen" here.

Are you prepared?

xoxo,

Nurse Mer

The Low Down

I promised more details were to follow my last post, didn't I?

Well, because I never break a promise made on my blog, here are the dets....

My column is up and running on Examiner.com! Go here to take a look. And then take another look. Hey, while you're at it, might as well go for a third trip!

(And no, of course I would never ask you to make several stops at my column because it means I get paid more. Psssh who does that. Not me. Nope. Never.)

Happy Examining, folks!