I allowed life to continue, and I unintentionally allowed myself to not chronicle it.
I certainly have been enjoying life these past months; and though I have had more time on my hands because I blog less, I have found I have enjoyed life less because I have not blogged more.
When I take the time to pause, reflect, and write, on ideas and events that I find passionate, those ideas and events become something even greater.
Though I have been encouraged by the few blog fans that I may have to start writing again, what spurs me to write today is an event where, within its borders, I found passion and was significantly moved.
I was motivated to write because of the deaths of two young people, who departed this world too soon. One person whom I knew, and the other I did not.
A childhood friend passed away in her sleep, and she returned home to Boise, to be celebrated and mourned by her family and friends. I was fortunate enough to attend her funeral, and feel of the passion people felt for her. And I was much more emotional that I had anticipated. She was beautiful, kind, quirky, artistic, never judged another, and saw the technicolor side to life.
By remembering Aubri, I was reminded that I need to be more like her. I need to learn how to be slow to anger; to have more patience; and to exhibit more kindness to others. I want to touch others, as Aubri did in her short time here.
It was a beautiful memorial service honoring Aubri and I felt so fortunate to be able to share it with my parents. And it was a beautiful car ride home with my mother, as I cried, and so did she.
It was later that same evening, when my thoughts all day had been turned to Aubri, and death, and living with passion while we can, I learned of the second death. A boyfriend of an old soccer teammate was killed in a motorcycle crash in Honduras. He had been traveling the world, living a life long dream.
My heart ached, more than it already had, for my friend and her loss. I was privately overcome with thoughts of losing such talented individuals from this earth and not knowing when others, those who are closer to me, may have the same fate.
I laid in my bed silent, alone, until the early hours of morning thinking, pondering, wiping away tears, inquiring, about how fragile life is, and always will be.
Though I was tempted, I never did ask the question, "Why?"
"Why so young? For what purpose?" For we will never know why, and I have never been one to drown myself in something that cannot be solved.
The question I did find myself asking was, "How?"
"How can I live more like them? How can I find, search, and live the passions that mean most to me?" For this question has an answer.
I started with hugging my mother a little bit tighter and longer. I played with my little sister's hair and scratched her back. I told friends that I loved them. I offered more smiles to patients who walked through the Emergency Room doors.
Though death is painful, tragic, scary, and sometimes seemingly unbearable; I found that Thursday, January 20th, as I learned of death, was filled with passionate moments and emotions that I will never forget.
And now that I have chronicled those moments, they are even greater.
Thank you Aubri Chance and Matty Lee; for you have touched others, and me, in more ways than you thought possible.