Monday, February 23, 2009

Gold Naked Men

I have a confession. Well, I have several. But for now, I will admit to this.

If you were curious where I was from 4:00pm, until 10:0pm Sunday night, you need not look too far. After a warm shower, I threw on my best black velvet (aka victoria secret velour sweats), towel dried my hair into a swirl of cascading finger twirled curls, skipped the mascara and simply went for a touch of cheek rouge. Upon ascending the stairs, I wrapped myself in a soft gray blanket and entered la cucina.

I sliced a Pink Lady apple into wedges, outlined a white porcelain plate with the finest of Wheat Thin Fiber Selects, and peeled a swirl low fat cheese stick. The soft gray blanket hanging on for dear life on my left shoulder, the plate of tantalizing delectables in my right hand, I anxiously sank into the lovely light turquoise couch. With the touch of a button, my night unfolded before me.

It's Oscars night, ladies and gentleman!

For the first time in my life, I not only watched the entire awards ceremony, but every moment of the pre-show. The awkward interviews. The fashion gossip. The celebrity sightings and blustering fans screaming in elation. The beautiful hair and unique jewelry. I loved it. I felt like such a girl- and I loved it.

Had I received an interview from Mr. Seacrest, I would have boldy declared, "Victoria's Secret. Pantene Pro-V. Smith's Marketplace." Valentino and Versace have got nothin' on me. Nothin' on Victoria. Especially nothin' on the piece of business she keeps hidden from us.

The glamour. The fun. The beauty. The spotlight.

For one brief moment, I felt so compelled to turn my wedding show modeling career into New York's Fashion Week. Oh wait, reality.. I am a nurse, living in Utah, who munches on Pink Lady apples during the Oscars. I can dream.

I made the journey from the couch, left the 6 hour toosh indentation, and called the only person who would understand my off the cuff fantasies. And what I loved most, was his passion to not hold me back from NY, Paris, Rome, Hong Kong... Ah, I really can dream.

Do not let the navy blue scrubs, ponytail and bare essentials makeup regimen fool you.

And so these are the confessions of a secret alter ego fashionista.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The DoDo and the Italian chicken sandwich.

Taken.

Snowbird and fresh powder snow, all. day. long.

Home-cooked meals with wine and fine conversation.

Max Payne, or 15 minutes of Max Payne before skied out eyes faded to sleep.

Park City ski resort and blue skies.

Salt Lake City Country Club.

Not sharing my meatloaf.

Grandpa and Grandma Mangum-Anderson.

Max Payne, Baby Mama.

Confessions of a Shopaholic, Twilight.

Seeing me "in action" at work.

Alta Club dinner with old time friend Dr. Rich, french fries, and lycopene.

Clothes hamper = picnic table.

Lazy.

Lazier.

Laziest.

Happy tears.


This past week, Salt Lake City sure has treated me well....

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Thirty Two Minus Seven

Twenty Five Things.

So this is circulating on facebook: write 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. And I was tagged by my good friend, Maddie Fisher. This is my virgin journey on being a recipient of a tag. Here goes....!

1. No matter what the topic is, or for what medium I am writing, I always ferociously write a few sentences, and then suddenly pause, and sincerely focus, as if my life depends on it. It's my version of warming up for a long run in the cold, or punching the air with clenched fists in preparation for a boxing match. (And so this means that the aforementioned statement just happened.)

2. I find great satisfaction with the ingestion of potatoes. Anything potatoes. Baked, cheesy, scalloped, funeral, "river", or inside a fried coating, affectionately known as a french fry. I stay true to my roots. Go Idaho- woot! woot!

3. Ketchup fanatic. To go on all things potato. Sometimes I will fry up something fatty, not because I crave such satiety, but because I crave ketchup. Suddenly the french fry becomes the condiment.

4. I love being a nurse. I L-O-V-E it. It fits me perfectly; and I truly find such deep satisfaction in helping someone find a little bit more holistic happiness via a healthcare setting.

5. If you had told me in high school I would be a nurse, I would have laughed in your face. Loudly, too. Math? Science? Are you serious? Yup. Apparently we were serious.

6. My family are the loves of my life. All seven of us are so different, but I find God placed us together because he knew our differences are what connected us- and what allowed each of us to be a bit more well-rounded. I am now 400 miles south of them (except for one), and I miss them, dearly.

7. I am not a confrontational person by any means, as I usually tend to take after my dad as a peacemaker. However, if something negative is said about my loyal possy of family and friends, I literally have to fight back the inevitable adrenaline rush to use my fists to tear you apart. (Can anyone imagine that picture?)

8. I used to be deathly afraid of dogs up until the age of 16. And I mean deathly. It was legitimate, too. Just one look at a dog, even leashed, my "fight or flight" response instantaneously kicked in- and I flew. I would run so far, so hard, for so long- and then I would begin to shiver as soon as I felt safe......... Apparently I was bit by a poodle when I was two? No memory of it. Poodles are right up there with pitbulls, right? Shit. That's not embarrassing.

9. I met my female soulmate two years ago in Salt Lake City, Utah. People tend to grow weary when they're around us because our humor only goes so far to the outside world; and people always ask how long we've known each other, expecting a "since in utero" response. Yet her bright blonde lion's mane and bulging calves is quite the contrast to my brunette locks and pancake flat bum.

10. I love to wear dresses. Something so feminine and sexy found in one's thighs not being interrupted by a synthetic material....

11. I am a soccer player. And I always will be. Though my time spent in black adidas copa cleats on a freshly cut green grassy field has come to a close due to two blown (and surgically repaired) ACL knee injuries, futbol will forever run in my blood.

12. My cross addiction from soccer turned to running. My father always pushed to have me join cross-country so he wouldn't feel like the only CX geek in the Mangum family, but it appears my affinity for hitting the pavement blossomed a few years too late.

13. I ran a marathon. Never thought I would. Never. But I did. That sure proved something to me.

14. My ultimate and most prized goal is to be a wife and a mother. I feel that is a God-given gift and I find every experience in the here and now can only better prepare me for my hopeful future.

15. If I ever blew you off to attend one of my brothers' sporting events, I really wasn't blowing you off. It is actually one of my favorite things to do. I am an insanely proud sister. Or maybe I am just banking on my retirement stemming from a brother's NFL salary...?

16. I have got to be the world's biggest bargain shopper. Pretty sure I haven't bought a single piece of clothing full price in years. And even if money someday does come my way, I won't change my shopping habits.

17. On the contrary to #16, I want a Range Rover, a well decorated home, and a substantial rock on my wedding finger someday. I have wrestled with these superficial thoughts; however, I feel quite comfortable in concluding I just have expensive taste.

18. My favorite musical artists are Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen, Don Henley, and Mary Chapin Carpenter. People, except for my father, never understand this.

19. I love to dance. My dear friend Julie and I are known for busting moves at all times of the day to all tunes accessible. However, my facebook "Compare People" peer ratings always politely remind me, WITHOUT FAIL, that "best dancer," I most certainly am not. However, that still doesn't seem to stop my chicken legs rug-cutting move from revealing itself.

20. I was borderline obsessed with Rob Pattinson (aka Edward Cullen dans Twilight), for a good couple of months. I had to forcefully give myself a reality check. Or maybe getting my own Edward in the flesh (and coincidental identical twin to RPattz) fixed the problem.

21. Ann Taylor Loft, White House Black Market, GAP and Banana Republic are my staple stores. I find I express myself artistically and creatively through my apparel, as I cannot cook-paint-draw-or do anything artsy-related. However, I find that my form of creative expression is difficult to execute in my current everyday uniform of scrubs. I now struggle with the ultimate decision: pearls or CZ's today?

22. Utterly hopeless romantic should be my middle name. Or perhaps my full legal name. Shoot, just call me Utterly.

23. As much as I enjoy getting all dolled up, and going out on the town, I am a total home-body at heart. Give me sweats, a rental movie, candy and a snuggle buddy, and I could not be any more content.

24. Furthermore, I could watch movies all day. One after the other. Though it is the typical cliche dating activity, going to a movie theatre to enjoy cinematic entertainment is a love of mine. I tend to allow myself to become so involved in a movie, I can be so moved by the messages conveyed theatrically.

25. I am an independent woman. I often have to be reminded to check in with my parents. I love my alone time and moving at my own pace. I like to think of myself as a free spirit- open minded and easy going, as I have reached a level of such comfort with who I am as a woman.

I tag: Jessica Kruger, Julie Andersen, Abigail Mangum, Nellie Bingham, Diana Hulme, Carley Mills, Lindsey Cook

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

J-O-B

So maybe it's about time I described what it is exactly I do, for work. Yes, I work. A lot, too. And I love it. Don't necessarily love working, 'a lot,' but thoroughly enjoy what I am doing when I am logging in those overtime hours (oh yeah, overtime... can't beat time and a half pay.)

So I am a Nurse (yes, I will capitalize it) and I am the Education Director for Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians, at St. Mark's hospital. It is a weight loss surgery clinic, focusing on bariatric procedures like gastric bypass and gastric banding. "Education Director," you may ask? We debated on the title.. General Coordinator, Bariatric Director, it's all just semantics. However, my current title best describes what my main priorities are within the practice.

To educate.

And education has always been my thing. Favorite part about nursing school? The discharge teaching when patients leave; or the ten minutes spent in a patient's room to go over what they know about diabetes and to educate the person from that starting point.

Yeah it's great and all to place an IV that no one else could start, not even a surgeon; and it's cool to deliver six different medications for morning rounds, and to have the power to do so.... But that's so not why I became a nurse. I became a nurse to truly make an impact- to build relationships and to field question after question to help better educate people about their health.

I run and organize three main support groups- Ogden, SLC, and Orem (I just got this one up and running, woohoo!); and I also coordinate with outlying areas outside of Utah for telephone support, and hopefully, one day, real support groups. I created a 12 month program with speakers, topics to be discussed, or activities for each month. This allows for some creativity- not something nurses get to do everyday. And my attendance at all of the above night support groups allow me to interact with our patient population on a very real and personal basis.

I head the in-clinic education piece, particularly the classes taught for incoming patients. I wrote new outlines and powerpoints for information to be taught. I field herds of e-mails, online chat forums, and telephone calls from inquiring patients. I am a marketing liaison (nursing school...?) and am a contact for all various media entities; constantly looking for ways to market our medical practice and have recently been a part of organizing a field trip to Wyoming as a cool marketing gig. I manage the website and make improvements where I think are needed. I edit (or re-write, really...) my doctor's research papers, as I happen to be a grammar and spelling fiend. I will be trained to do gastric band fills- something that actually requires lidocaine, needles, and band aids. I visit patients on the hospital floor after surgery. And I get to write, all of the time. It's certainly not blog-worthy creativity, but I do have to be quite crafty with my professional lingo.

And I still run Dr. Simper's clinic. So the full time job I had this summer... is still my job, plus an extra three and a half page job description to top it off. Needless to say, I am busy. Barely even have time to check my baby sister's blog once a day. When I have a pause in my day, I always know there is something else I could be doing.

And I find so much pride in hardwork, and in doing a job well, thoroughly and whole heartedly. Give me an general idea of something the doc's would like me to do, and I will run with it.

I find honesty, fastidious follow through and a warm smile are key components to finding workplace success. And I have found that I was trained by parents who taught me well.

I love my job.

And I have several coworkers who share my same passion for leaving something better than when we found it. Without those individuals' Herculean efforts, my work would all be for nought. They make work enjoyable and fun and fresh. They are my friends.

Did I mention, I love my job...?

But something is missing. And I think that piece is 400 miles away.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

UT to LV

Because we are go getters (and not because Southwest was offering $40 flights from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas...), some girlfriends and I packed up and flew south for Jessica's bachelorette party.
Eating too much shrimp cocktail in the buffet lines, blowing $40 at video roulette, running into my aunt and uncle (from SLC) in the middle of Caesar's Palace casino, paying $20 for a VIP table at Hard Rock Cafe's Body English dance club, and doing all of this with my number one woman.. my best girlfriend... my sister from another mister... Jessica Kruger.
May 7th is the big day. And you can find me wearing a hot magenta colored bridesmaid dress. I love you, Jess; you are my soulmate, but in the shape of a woman, and whom I can't get married to. But nonetheless, you are my girl.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Confession

I am feeling rather sentimental tonight.

Yes I could blog about the $15 queen bed I found and purchased today (and just why exactly it is 15 dollars...), and the truly lovely gray-designed comforter set to cover the obvious low budget mattress purchase, from Ikea. But I don't feel like it.

I feel too much emotion at this moment to relish in the superficial. I feel so much happiness. I feel so much contentment. I feel so alive. And yet the dominating hormone regulated thought leads me to feel much sorrow for those I have hurt or wronged.

I have been too quick, too brash, and have lacked compassion. I was selfish, and foolish, and narrow minded. I acted on impulse, without regard for consequence.

It weighs on me. And I know it weighs on not only those who I have hurt, but even on those who were simply third parties.

And so it weighs on me.

And though I may never know if I can right where I have wronged, please know I am so very sorry.