Saturday, August 15, 2009

So this is what it feels like.


I can barely keep my eyes open. My fingers are slow to follow the command of my brain. And I desperately want to retire my weary frame and sink into my foamy mattress. But I feel so much tonight. I feel something that I must share before the moment passes me by. I cannot forget because it proves something that science nor pessimists can legitimately explain.

I may be speaking too plainly. But I don't care. These are my thoughts.

I have had a friend since I was 15 who has positively impacted my life in multiple facets- socially, academically, romantically, spiritually. His name is Derek.

Like I said, I may speak too plainly. But remember, I don't care.

My connection with another human being has yet to reach the capacity as the one between he and I. The definition of a dearest friend.

As he departed for the east coast today to partake of the Harvard crimson at the medical school, I felt something unparalleled. With genuine care and without expecting something in return, I am absolutely elated for him and his accomplishments. No reserves. No compromises.

It feels as though I am about to enter medical school. Which clearly I am not. Nurse Mer for life. And yet, I feel for him, as what I would feel for myself entering a dream long awaited. I feel giddy, and eager, and confident, and happy, without hesitation. A tear fell down my cheek. A tear of excitement and pride.

It's incredible.

I said to my sweet girlfriend, Carley, that I know this is exactly what he wants to be doing, and he will be so damn good at it. I feel such satisfaction in knowing that someone in whom I have vested sincere care is walking the walk. Making his story a good one. Grabbing life with full grasp and not only taking the leap, but giving himself a push start.

I feel absolute happiness when thinking of Derek wearing his white coat and connecting with a patient who needs him. Needs his brilliant mind and compassionate spirit.

Perhaps this is a glimpse of heaven, where only joy and love can linger.

Go and do what you were born to do, Derek. You have a friend a couple thousand of miles away who cherishes your strong (and stubborn) spirit.

xo.

2 comments:

carley said...

Mer, you are just simply so lovey and beautiful, and the way you love is nothing short of that.

how lucky he is to have someone thousands of miles away supporting him in the new adventures that he is abut to embark on.

and how lucky am I do be able to call this same person my friend. :)

John and Julie Kupper said...

I too am happier at the beach! but I can settle for some sand volleyball on a nice day in Utah... that makes me pretty happy too.