Natural Selection

Survival of the fittest.

Survival of those who are better equipped for surviving.

Survival of the fit enough.

Whatever.

But when one does not have internet access from home, it truly makes for a modern-age natural selection.

Can I handle it? Can I forego the usual ritual of perusing facebook and blogs alike? Can I resist the whirlwind force to string together words from the english language for the whole world to see? Am I capable of not resorting to google for everything- from bed shopping on craig's list, to directions in my new city of Salt Lake, to detachment from the world beyond my small bubble (no Yahoo news updates?! How do I FUNCTION?!)

Well, folks.

I did do it. I did handle it. Thanks to Destiny's Child, I am a survivor! Comcast relieved me of any future unfavorable repercussions... today.

Guess I am fit. Or at least Darwin would think so.

But I could be even more so. And with a little help from an (almost) paid gym membership through my work, it shouldn't be too difficult. I have already made friends with several treadmills at Gold's gym- even when my tush was apparently too aggressive on the landing of foot to rubber, and the TV connected to the machine began to shake. violently.

Oh, that's me making all that ruckus? Sorry.....

Here's to a LOVELY rental home near Sugar House with even LOVELIER roommates, wearing scrubs to work everyday (wake up, get out of my pajamas, and put on more pajamas), and the first paycheck!

XoXo, Nurse Mer

Psst.. if you are really interested, stay tuned for a future incoming swarm of stories and pics to accompany about a little bachelorette party down south. In Vegas. (though some mementos will need to stay right where they remain in the city of bright lights, booze, and boobies).

Psst, Psst.. This weekend looks to be epic. EPIC!!!

Sink or Swim

As I was driving to Albertson's on 23 East tonight, I set my car's radio station channels to Utah's finest, and that's when it hit me.

I am no longer a visitor to the 801. I am not making the four and a half hour drive back to Boise at the weekend's closure. Living out of a suitcase will no longer be the precedent when in Utah.

I am officially an Idaho-born-and-bred transplant to Salt Lake City.

Excited, nervous, happy, anxious, independence, sad... Conflicting emotions are through the roof.

But I am here.

And I really am diggin' it.

Though, I'm not so sure if my belly agrees with the aforementioned declaration. Not after finishing an entire plate of Bang-Bang (yeah, who knows...?) Chicken and Shrimp at Cheesecake Factory, with carrot cake cheesecake for dessert, and three too many cups of Coke-heavy on the Diet. My ladies Julie, Jess, and I sure know how to satiate the slightest of hunger pains.

Adult Size

Intentionally put the PrintMaster designed sign above the TV; so when the party comes to enjoy the National Championship over pizza and cake, we can all be reminded of the real reason to celebrate. (Boy, I am getting rather crafty these days. Not sure what this means..!)

Eighteen years ago, today, my younger brother, Madison, was born into this world. And with him he not only brought chubby cheeks and blond hair, but a mild temperament, a care free smile, and an easy-going approach to everything and everyone he encounters.

Though his hair has darkened to a sandy brown, and his round face has thinned, and now adorns the top of his 3% body fat dimensions, his lovable personality has not changed. He may rip and roar down a ski hill while mid run pulling a 360 degree turn tailgrab, and he may unintentionally stick his tongue out (Michael Jordan style) whenever his aggressive veracity on a sport court flares, but to me...

He is my "little" brother, who is always willing to give me a smile and to laugh at my silly jokes. We have so much fun together, and we both understand one another, especially when words are not even expressed.

Happy Birthday, Maddog!!!

I love you, and I will miss you...

Because...

January 14th is the official START-WORK day in Salt Lake! I am so excited to rejoin my family at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians in less than a week!

However...

I am feeling rather nostalgic as I prepare to leave home. I do love Boise.

But loyalty and $$$ are such convincing lures...

A Holiday Break: Yes, it's true a designated holiday break means a vacation from school and all of the wonderful components it entails: homework, deadlines, and hospital cafeteria lunches.

And so shouldn't a vacation mean catching up on some Z's, too?

Strange, but no.

Not when my "holiday break" means...

....Graduating, and the fun parties to celebrate this momentous occasion. Grandma and Grandpa Anderson (Mangum) even came to honor the graduate.

....Christmas. And Rich Man's Dessert. And cranberry salad, rolls, and cheesy potatoes. And valuable time with the Peays. And a fabulous new red pea coat.

....Rockin' knee high powder at Sun Valley and the inevitable deeeeep thigh burn.

....Early morning wakeup phone calls to ensure a timely departure for the ski hill.

....Perfecting 5 or 6 "expert-looking" turns in thick, wet, heavy snow under Pine Creek (chair six) at Bogus Basin. But then as I fear my increasing speed, I make one long turn, to then resort back to the expert I wish I was. Apparently I like to vacillate between good, and really good. Keeps me humble.

....Cheddar burgers for lunch, everyday, at Bogus. Complete with french fry condiments- yes, condiments. I am skiing hard; I will burn it off, right? I have never had so much cow and grease in one week. And not cared.

....Quick showers, no time for hair blow dryers, and then pretending like I fit in at Murphy's Steakhouse with wet locks and messily applied lipstick. But this time, I obeyed the "Eat More Chikn" suggestion.

....The greatest new year's eve. Ever. And the greatest kiss to usher in 2009. Ever. A big thanks to Kanye for his "Flashing Lights."

....Movie, after movie, after movie. Benjamin Button reaffirmed that the waterworks are still fully functioning.

....Dinners, drinks, and trips down memory lane with old friends. Great friendship may come and go, but remembering it happened is so rejuvenating.

....And after one day on the ski hill, learning that love can be rekindled. And ohhhhh the flame is burning. Hot.

Two thousand and eight could not have ended on a more beautiful note. I view this dramatic exit as a perfect entrance for the ninth year of this second millenia.

As I reflect back on the past couple of weeks, it is difficult to summarize all the fun into small bullet points. We all know I could write a novel on the black velour pant suit I received for Christmas, but for your sake, I will resist.

Hence, my New Year's resolution? To keep journaling, blogging, writing. Yes, I have been actively doing so since April, but it is a new found love of mine, and I want to always remember that. I often supplement my blogs with private personal entries on my Microsoft Word hard drive, but I have so enjoyed sharing my life with you. I am an open book; I tend to share a great deal of myself publicly, and I am not ashamed of it. I learn from you and your writings, and I only hope to offer you the same.

And Nothing Else Matters

A quick, but necessary disclaimer: If this blog is upsetting to you in any form, then don't read it. Ahem, with that being said...

I am alive, despite my severe lack of blogging.

And I am in love.

Sunday "linner" is calling.. and as I have been away from my home for almost days on end, except for sleeping (sometimes), I must prioritize time with my family.

Will blog again, soon.

I'll be home for Christmas

if only in my bed, snuggled up in sweatshirts and magenta colored fleece blankets, and Thera-Flu in my tummy. Though my current sickly condition makes for a less active first days of Christmas break, there is nowhere else I would rather want to be... than home.

I thought I had barely skirted past the winter flu season a few weeks ago, as a few good night's rest took care of it. But I guess I was wrong. It came back full force to invade this nursing graduate's body. (Yes, I took my last final yesterday and have officially passed nursing school.)

As I sat eagerly watching my two younger brothers' basketball games last night, my body was shivering quite uncontrollably. I kept having to switch my sitting position every few minutes in an attempt to achieve comfort for my ever-growing sore body.. and to hide my Parkinsonian-like tremors. By the end of the game, my mother's cool hand could detect a full fledged fever on my forehead and rosy red cheeks.

While I sit here eating my hot chicken noodle soup and drinking my cold Coke Zero (hmmm, my environmental factors do not seem to help my body's vacillation from hot to cold), I am pondering the GREAT previous weekend I had in Salt Lake-- and the severe sleep deprivation from maximizing time with friends and family. ............Ooohhh! It all makes sense now. :)

1} A surprise visit from Derek Erstad, who happened to be interviewing for medical school at University of Utah... unbeknownst to either of us we would both be in Salt Lake the same day. So dinner at DoDo, some Grey's Anatomy and Saved by the Bell, adventures finding the medical school in the dark the night before the big interview, and much laughter to go around... I was more than delighted to be his SLC tour guide.

2} The third annual college-kid gathering to see Kurt Bestor's Christmas Concert, a special treat from Grandma Clifford (aka Nani). Delights from the sights and sounds of the musical gala, yummy food from Lambs Grill and Cafe, and one massive bowl of peppermint ice cream, I was utterly satisfied.

3} Jessica Kruger, and company. That's all there is to it. Except, The Day the Earth Stood Still was something we all could have gone without. Sleepovers cuddling in one bed, waking her up during her tumultuous nightmare, Cafe Rio, munching on her fiance's mother's english toffee, and the never ending laughter between the two of us... I swear to it that if she could just somehow turn male, I would marry her (him?) and I would be the happiest being alive.

4} Kimmy Harman. And meeting her for the first time, but knowing we would have so much fun as hopeful future roommates. Sugarhouse is our desired relocation-and we have found some adorable rentals. So for some reason when I was awaiting a prescription to be filled at Albertson's Pharmacy on Monday, my eyes quickly bypassed all fashion and teeny bopper magazines, and headed straight for the Beautiful Homes issue. And then my imagination went a little wild, with $$$ clouding all rational thought.

4} Late night chats with Grandma Anderson-Mangum. Her listening ear and her keen wisdom are quite admirable. Though she only stands at 5'4", it's no secret that great things come in small packages.

My trip down south only reaffirmed my excitement for the future permanent move.

But first.... I must use all of my acquired education and nurse myself back to health (along with sweet concerned check-in phone calls from my mother).

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears

My work on a hospital floor has ended, finished, commenced, taken its last breath… whichever satisfies you. What satisfies me? The relief felt from being the recipient of that “last breath.” I finished my clinical on the Labor & Delivery floor yesterday, having completed all 90 hours of unpaid service to laboring women in Boise, Idaho. Oh how blessed I was to be on that floor for my preceptorship, but how blessed I am to be done. An interesting paradox, yes!

{Photos taken from summer of '07.. guess the scrubs don't quite fit so tight these days. yikes.}

Furthermore, I selected to care for Dr. Klomp's patient on my last 12 hour shift... which meant I would work side by side with the obstetrician who delivered me on that very floor 21 (and a half) years ago. And he happens to be a dear family friend; so when he walked in at 0730 and put his miracle-working hands on my shoulders (in the middle of my IV start, mind you..), I knew I could not have picked a more satisfying finale.

My preceptor, Julie Barta, was the perfect woman for the job. She and I clicked from day one with the initial acceptance of one another due to the common length of our legs. But moreover, she was kind, and patient, and so willing to accommodate all kinds of experiences unique to the floor. She was my mother-hen dressed in blue scrubs, with casual wit and fun humor to combat stress and the expansion of my comfort bubble. She was approachable with questions and willing to teach at the drop of a dime, no matter how many times she has rattled off the same information to many a precepting students or new orientees.

And she happened to be from an LDS family herself, so when not inserting large 18-gaged IV’s and checking vaginal cervix's with two “lubed” fingers, we discussed religion and the importance of balance in our lives. Strange how certain people step into your life at poignant points in one’s existence… Not a coincidence, I do believe. Angels are sent to us in the form of our fellow man for comfort, help, and reassurance.

Graduation is now merely 10 days away, with only one more day of classes, some concluding preceptorship paperwork, and one “final” exam (consisting only of covered material from the last three weeks, i.e. how to be nice, and how to be culturally sensitive…. Yeah, you get the picture) standing in my way. This means GO TIME for NCLEX review and study. This means question after question of NCLEX-style queries. And it means ever increasing anxiety for those upcoming nursing boards. On the whole, I am definitely not an anxious, worrisome individual. But this test, this test really gets my blood pressure up, ignites the racing thoughts, and allows worry to seep in through every presently unclogged pore.

As I sat in Barnes and Noble today for an even longer period usually spent in a single clothing store, I plopped onto the ground in the middle of the Nursing/Medical section. Hair pulled back into a ponytail topped with a red Stanford baseball cap, and black Nike spandex covering every extremity, I flipped through the pages of many NCLEX review books. I got lost in the helpful mnemonics written for the massive amounts of information needing to be refreshed from the dusty and rusty synapses of my brain. For one brief moment, I felt rather confident. Yes, see, I know this stuff! I know it. I know it. I. Know. It.

Perhaps like Dorothy, if I replace the currently appareled running shoes with my red pumps (sans glitter), click my heels together, squeeze my eyes and white-knuckled fists tight, and say it over, and over, and over… I will believe it; and my world will be a bit more black and white, a little bit more cut and dry.

“There’s no place like a Pearson Testing Center to take the NCLEX. There’s no place. I know it. I know. I know it…..”