Secret of Life #1. Utilizing {stealing} pre-recorded musical lyrics as my own.
"Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" By Rupert Holmes {Meredith}.
Ahem.
"I was tired of my lady {man, or lack thereof}, we'd been together too long. Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song. So while she {empty baby blue and white striped sheets} lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed. And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:
'If you like {virgin} Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half {full, please}-a-brain. If you like making love {out} at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. I'm the lady {tall, dark and handsome stud muffin} you've looked for, write to me, and escape.'
{more cowbell, please}
"I didn't think about my lady {anyone}, I know that sounds kind of mean. But me and my old lady {singledom}, had fallen into the same old dull routine. So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad. And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it was not half- bad {FABULOUS}.
'Yes, I like {virgin} Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. I'm not much {definitely} into health food, I am into champagne {sparkling cider, diet}. I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape. At a bar {beach} called O'Malley's {Newport}, where we'll plan our escape {elopement}.'"
{cowbell, fade out}
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