Thursday, November 20, 2008

Attack of the Grocery Carts



Upon my arrival in the Albertson's parking lot to do a bit of grocery shopping, I turn off my engine, but leave the car's power on so I could enjoy the finale of a beautiful Jon Schmidt Christmas piece blaring (literally) through my speakers. All of a sudden a mammoth-sized gust of wind took flight; it was as if God himself was doing a little housekeeping and decided to blow off the millenias of collected dust from this old planet. But instead of provoking sneezes for earth's inhabitants, He only could muster up some whirlwinds of leaves, in transit grocery shoppers' hair... and grocery carts.

Next thing I know, my peaceful moment of reflection mid piano concerto is abruptly interrupted as I see two metal grocery carts flying toward my car, at ramming speed. My small brown eyes widen to a full stretch, and I begin to laugh heartily, out loud. What should I do?! The carts aren't slowing down... And they literally have my Optima as the sole "must destroy" target.

I quickly turn down my music (it is such a habit, as I cannot think clearly with musical interference), and with my keys still in the ignition, I fire up the engine. I flip the transmission into reverse, simultaneously check my mirrors, look behind my shoulders (while still laughing), and sporadically swerve out of the yellow lined parking space.

With the white colored target now out of killing range, the grocery carts opt for a suicide mission instead, and plant their gray scrap metal into the fender of a nearby vehicle.

Phew!!! Who knew an ordinary day at the food market, with the help of inanimate objects, could turn the trip deadly. Or at least, costly.

Okay, now back to that Christmas music... Volume up!

{Moral of the story: Put your quietly-violent shopping carts AWAY when finished with them. Just like the use of a car's turning blinker, it's really not that difficult. Thanks.}

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PS: Twilight. Tomorrow night. 7pm. I haven't been this obsessed about a movie, and/or actor (ahem, Rob Pattinson) since the partnership of Titanic and Leonardo DiCaprio. Am I really eleven years old all over again?? Seriously, it's kind of out of control.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I didn't know shopping carts could be so scary. I'm glad Sophia escaped unharmed.
Last night I fell in love with Edward all over again! The movie was a good addition to the book. I don't think i would've liked it as much if i hadn't read the book first.

Enjoy!

Diana Hulme said...

ahahahahahahahahahah...I wish I could have seen the whole thing. Hilarious.

Abigail Mangum said...

Hottie, hottie, hottie! I'm in love with Edward! I must see Twilight again! For not a one...not a two...but a third time! I will never breal my trust for Twilight. It's the only movie I will commit to.